Dandelion Green & Asparagus Tart, filled with disaster.

And then I dropped the tart on the floor.

And I laughed, because really, what else can you do?

But let me back up.

I’m a morning person. I can see that look you're giving me right now. A morning person? And you don’t even drink coffee? Yup. I’m that annoying person who is stupidly cheerful first thing. I love the early morning light and the birds chirping and dewy grass and a cuppa tea.

This morning, I was not that person. I was cranky as all get out. There were dishes piled up in my sink, ones I needed to wash before I could get to work. I couldn’t find the bottom of my tart pan. The one I’m always losing, because some people (me), should not be allowed to buy things with multiple parts, because they will lose them. I get down on my knees, body half way into the dark cabinet, rooting around for said tart pan, when the dogs start barking, scaring the wits out of me, so I bang my head on the top of the cabinet. I found the pan, though!

Then my stove top won’t light. There will be no sautéing of the onions. Okay, I’ll microwave them to soften em up a bit. No big. My crust looks weird. I think I pre-baked it too long. Am I out of milk? I should plan better.



I finally get it in the oven. I check on it and see it’s leaking. I go to yank it out and the rack moves, sending it careening towards the back of the oven. I let out a “NOO!!!”, and grab it with my bare hands. I hop around, hand in the air, doing a “it hurts!” dance. I get it back in, on a cookie sheet this time.

My kitchen starts smelling like overcooked egg, thanks to the bit of filling the hit my oven  floor. I gag a bit. Can we all agree that’s one of the worst smells ever?



It comes out and it looks beautiful. I run it down to my little table by the window, nearly falling down the stairs on the way, to take photos. My camera dies. I put my battery on to charge and take the tart back upstairs, cut out a piece to try, and then drop the thing on the floor.

Asparagus everywhere. A cute little puppy licking the floor, happy as a clam to clean up 10 bucks worth of cheese for me.

And I laugh. Because seriously?! 

I occasionally get emails saying "your life looks so lovely and perfect!".  It's not all wildflowers in mason jars and farm fresh eggs around here. Some days look like this. Imperfect, frustrating, and also kind of hilarious.

(The tart was delicious. I’d totally be eating another piece right now if it weren’t for the whole floor thing. I'd never had dandelion greens before, I bought them because my new philosophy is this: “if you see something in the produce section you’ve never tried, buy it!”, and turns out really really like them. They’re kinda bitter and that’s my jam. My crust sucked, though, so I won’t be providing the recipe I used here. Just use your favorite savory tart dough! I obviously didn’t go the sauteeing of the onions, garlic, greens and asparagus way, but I suggest you do.)



(Sorry about the iphone photo.)

Dandelion Green & Asparagus Tart
Slightly adapted from The New York Times

1 generous bunch dandelion greens, about 12 ounces
Salt to taste
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
1 bunch of asparagus
1 or 2 garlic cloves (to taste), green shoots removed, minced
4 large or extra large eggs
3/4 cup low-fat milk
Freshly ground pepper
3/4 cup Gruyère cheese, grated (3 ounces)

1 tart crust

Cut the tough stems from the dandelion greens, about 1 inch from the bottom, and wash in two changes of water. Bring a large pot of water to a boil, and fill a bowl with ice water. When the water comes to a boil, salt generously and add the dandelion greens. Blanch four minutes and transfer to the ice water. Drain, squeeze out excess water and chop.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Heat the olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat, and add the onion. Cook, stirring, until tender, about five minutes, and add a pinch of salt and the asparagus. Cook, stirring, for seven or eight minutes, until the asparagus have softened and the onions are golden. Add the garlic and cook for another minute, then stir in the dandelion greens. Stir together for a minute, and remove from the heat. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Beat the eggs in a large bowl. Brush the bottom of the pastry shell, and place in the preheated oven for five minutes. Remove from the oven. Whisk the milk into the eggs, add 1/2 teaspoon salt, freshly ground pepper to taste and stir in the cooked vegetables and cheese. Turn into the crust. Bake 35 to 40 minutes, until set and the top is lightly browned. Remove from the heat and allow to sit for 15 minutes before serving. Serve hot or warm.

PS, a HUGE thank you for all the kind words of congratulations on my last post. Y'all are the best! In other exciting news, h&j was nominated as one of the "best baking and desserts blogs" over at the Saveur Food Blog Awards! How cool is that? I'm in such great company and it's such an honor. You can vote for your faves today and tomorrow!